The Gift of Time: Is Your Child Ready for Kindergarten?

It’s common for preschools and elementary schools to recommend that children who are not yet ready for kindergarten  repeat the last preschool year. The logic is that some children, especially boys, are more mature and ready for the demands of our modern kindergartens later than others.

Some children do benefit from an extra year of preschool. After all, the cut off date for readiness does not always coincide with the body of a child; but often, students who are not ready may have skills deficits that need to be remediated and that will not get better over time. It’s a hard call, I admit; is the child “young” for his or her age? Or does the child require targeted intervention or instruction to invite the opportunity available during the extra year to fill in the gaps?

Many preschools and kindergartens today have confused “academic preparation” with developing intellectual skills, stamina, and emotional resilience in preparation for later schooling. The acceleration of first grade-type academic learning experiences does not always match the developmental needs of kindergarten students, and may actually create a false perception of the child’s lack of readiness for kindergarten.  Emphasis on academics may create anxiety in children who would otherwise thrive at appropriate learning activities.

            Looking carefully at the school to which the child will enroll is an appropriate first step in assessing readiness. Most good schools will accept a range of students and know that the kindergarten year is one of great and uneven growth.  If at all possible, finding a match between the child and the school is a worthwhile pursuit, especially given the range of public and private school programs available.

Aside from determining the appropriate school for his or her child, one might consider the concern of a wise parent who asked, “What is happening with those children, especially boys, who have been given the extra year in preschool? Are they just coming to elementary school older, larger, and now even less able to adjust to the demands of school? The answer is: too often, yes.

If we start the conversation about boys and readiness, one can find no shortage of research documenting non-alignment between the energies and attributes of boys and the typical classroom. I’ll leave that topic for another blog!

Implied in the parent’s comment is this: If we do give the child another year to become more ready for the demands of elementary school, let’s be sure that we are very clear why we are setting aside another year.

Will that extra year enhance the likelihood of the child’s successful transition to elementary school? What are things parents can do to increase that likelihood?

Here are some questions that might provide food for thought:

1. Is the behavior of the child at present acceptable and expected for a child a year younger? If the answer to this question is, “yes”, there is likelihood that another year is an appropriate adjustment for the child. After all, segregating children into age groups is a bit of a capricious routine, given the span of development at early ages. Perhaps the child is just a little off of the typical growth cycle. Early exhibition of academic skill is no reflection or predictor of future school success. Some kids are just late bloomers!
2. If the answer to question 1, after honest reflection, is, “no”, the “gift of time will not help without addressing specific skills and behaviors that seem to be contributing to the perception that the child is not ready for kindergarten.
3. Have the parents made use of parenting classes and counseling to ensure that the child’s unexpected behavior is not a function of training? This is the hardest one, and often preschools avoid the conversation with parents to avoid unpleasantness.

Sites like Family Education or National Association for Young Children can help parents find expected skills and specialists that may be of help.  The good news is that most of the skills required are easily developed at home.  Children who are lagging in a number of skills may benefit from professional intervention.  This step may be hard for parents, but  most find that a specialist will be a strong advocate for them and their child.

Boomer Grandparenting!

How wonderful is the gift of being a grandparent!  It’s widely known that enjoying a little one and being able to “give him or her back”  is great fun.   I have also noticed something quite wonderful about  grandparenting at this time in history. In addition to re-experiencing the joys and memories of parenting my own children, I discovered that  we “boomer” grandparents are in the remarkable position of straddling an important chasm in child-rearing.

Our children have grown up in the digital age, and while maybe not as “digitally native” as their children will be, they are chin deep in media as common experience.  Great parents, our kids see the benefits of using media to placate an uncomfortable child, while also spending quality, creative time and lots of energy with their little ones.  As grandparents, we enjoy seeing both our grandchildren and their parents negotiate the parent/child relationship with the temptations of media in every way, shape, and form.

We are the last generation, however, to remember how things used to be, when wild and wonderful play was a common part of childhood.  As we watch blended spaces become apartments and retail venues that spawn all kinds of scheduled engagements for kids, we remember the wild spaces we explored as children.  We left our homes in the morning, filling our days with our imaginations, exploring ravines and sliding down gullies–only to return as the street lights came on.  Although we are now as digitally engaged as our children, our body memories are of another time: less structured, more tied to nature, and less tinged with the fears that permeate today’s parenting mindset.

I feel blessed to appreciate the wonderful educational opportunities available to this generation of children:  sand that sticks to itself, non-toxic bubbles and nail polish, highly artistic preschools, and classes of all kinds for children of all ages.  But at the same time I recognize the opportunity to share the simple things and small moments that originated in a different time.

Testing for Giftedness: New York Leads the Way?

Ah, yes, New York, once again hits a home run, sending education over the back fence.  In an article titled, “Schools Ask: Gifted or Just Well-Prepared?”  we find the newest trend in education to be cranking out 4-year-olds who can pass admissions tests for entrance to gifted schools.  In fact, the kids have become so savvy as a result of excellent tutoring programs geared at the tests, that the bar keeps rising.  The tests just can’t keep up.

The creator of the test, Dr. Samuel Meisels from Chicago’s Erickson Institute, asserts that the test is used erroneously;  the test was designed to detect early delays to enable skilled early childhood educators and parents to provide intervention for children who might not otherwise be successful in school.

One wonders what the definition of giftedness is, and why we need to identify giftedness so early in a child’s life?  Is it just to skim the cream off the top so that schools can enroll homogenized kids?  Or is giftedness more difficult to discern, as Harvard’s Howard Gardner has postulated?  One who has worked with gifted students in middle school can see a profile of a student who hungers for more,  requires uniquely tailored learning experiences, and is likely to be a quirky kid who is anything but homogenized!  And as Gardner notes, giftedness shows up in many venues, among them: artistic, scientific, nature-oriented, social-emotional, few of which can be identified on a test given to children at the age of 4.

So let’s talk about 4-year-olds.  Is it possible to train a bright 4-year-old to pass items on a test?  Yes.  Is it also possible that a gifted child might lack the focus at 4 to sit still for a test, lack the dexterity to use a pencil effectively, or might be more interested in taking apart the phone of the person administering the test?  I’d think so.  4-7 year old children are what I describe as “popcorn.”  They inexplicably develop along their own timeline, irrespective of cognitive potential, for cognitive potential is what most of these tests attempt to measure.  Development is multi-faceted, and as children age and grow “into themselves” they reveal increasingly the kinds of bits of themselves of which Gardner speaks.  Do 4 year-olds benefit from the specter of adults hovering over them to ensure they can meet marks meant for older children, children whose bodies have fully developed? What are we doing to the children whose giftedness is being cultivated like a prized rose?  What will they learn about their value as human beings?  What will they feel as they step forward into their lives?

Truly “gifted” students require specialized schooling.  As a society we need to begin to address the education of children to discover the humane and nurturing response to the needs of truly gifted children.   And what about the assumption that cognitive potential is fixed by 4?  Why do we accept that assumption?  The current process of training and testing 4 and 5 year-olds is off the mark, particularly to those of us who care about the well-being of children.

What You Should Know About Public, Private, and Charter Schools

Education in this country is in crisis. For all of the patriotic rhetoric spewed during the last presidential election, in the “land of the free,” we have not yet made the connection that our children are the nation’s greatest resource and education deserves our greatest support. We do not take seriously the charge to educate all students. Some of our public schools are doing a great job, but in areas of the United States children are subjected to large classes, unskilled teachers, and unsafe school environments. Though for many school is a respite from troubled lives and overwhelmed parents, often schools are ill-prepared to give the children who most need a caring and safe environment and the confidence in themselves as capable learners needed in order to become healthy, prepared citizens.

Worse still, research reveals an alarming correspondence between poverty and school failure. With few exceptions, income level predicts academic levels in America’s schools. Data, such as test scores, can provide information that allows us to act in ways that serve change; or data can become a justification for doing nothing, blaming poor performance on “non-school” factors that we can’t change.

Data is used in public schools, organized on a top-down model. School boards make decisions that serve multiple schools, rarely able to be sensitive to the needs at each school. Well-meaning, high-level administrators and boards create policies that address the needs of the masses. Sometimes those policies support the schools in their districts; most of the time they do not. Federal attempts to create “one size fits all” policies are even more misguided. Current federal policies based on “research” overlook the fact that much of the research in education is based on assumptions that do not apply to all schools and all children. Statistics can lie; (consider the average of one’s feet in the freezer and one’s head in the oven—on average, just right) for children are individuals, not numbers.

Ronald , Nathan, and Hugo are three fictional boys who live in Los Angeles. Ronald, attends a public school downtown.  As an African-American child, born of a mother who struggles to support him and his three brothers, his chances of succeeding toward high school graduation are slim and toward college, slimmer. If by some chance he does make it to college, benefiting from one of the few non-profit,  innovative support systems , his chances of completing college are minimal, according to latest research.

Nathan’s future is rosy. Growing up in a suburb of Los Angeles, Nathan attends public school as well. His school boasts a “booster club” in which members of the school community raise $300,000 a year, allowing the school to hire extra teachers to supplement programs like art and music and to reduce class size.

Hugo is the luckiest of the three; he attends one of the city’s many private, independent schools. Although a student whose tuition is supported by partial scholarship, Hugo’s education is rich in scope, and his peers support his learning.  In all likelihood, he, like Nathan will attend college, graduate, and find a wonderful job.

Ronald, Nathan, and Hugo represent aspects of what has become known as “the achievement gap.” Ronald’s and Nathan’s achievement are measured by state testing that depicts individual and school success levels. In fact, the quality of the school is measured by the score.

Curriculum at Ronald and Nathan’s schools correspond directly to what is tested on the state tests, with math and language arts occupying the majority of time. Subjects such as social studies and science are evaluated sporadically during a child’s progression through grades K-12, and tests in those subjects focus on multiple choice responses about content.

In current discussion of the “achievement gap,” conversations focus on students such as Ronald and Nathan, and school programs are aimed at and judged by API scores, the aggregate of student scores at a school. No one would argue that a gap exists and must be closed. All students deserve good education. But do we all have the same definition of a “good” education? And why have test scores on one kind of test become the measure of what is “good” in education?

Viewing Hugo’s school expands the perspective of the discussion of the gap. Those students who attend independent schools are receiving an education that eclipses both Ronald’s and Nathan’s school experiences. Parents of public school students visiting good independent schools are often shocked at the difference between what is considered a good public school (one that boasts high test scores) and an independent school. I know I was.

March, 1989, Westlake School for Girls

As a young mother, I loved the idea of public schools and free education, and I hold that perspective today as well. Although my husband taught at a private school, I fought the very idea of any child of mine attending a private school. My own three years as a public school teacher, prior to becoming an “at home” mom, solidified my belief in neighborhood public schools as anchors of community and democracy. I saw public schools as a great leveler, providing my children with the opportunity to expand their world view of cultures and races, as I eschewed my own  segregated education of  in an isolated bastion of whiteness. I sent my oldest child to Westlake School for  Girls.  It was a “no-brainer:”  I saw what the school offered and compared it to her public magnet school.  Huge step for a person committed to public school.

Neighborhood Public School Districts

I began my teaching career at a well-funded school in a tiny beach district, and although my 28 kindergarten children had a slim slice of my attention within a three hour school day, the day was filled with enriching experiences for them. The school board decided to change the class size for all elementary grades. My kindergarten roster grew from 28 to 33 children reflecting increased class size across the district, designed to meet the challenges of shrinking enrollment resulting from skyrocketing property values that changed district demographics and new laws that limited spending in affluent school districts. A member of the school board supported the increase of class sizes as a solution to the districts shrinking enrollment, based on research of the day that substantiated the idea that class size did not matter; a “good” teacher could “disseminate instruction” (to quote the board member) to 40 students.

In 2012, the Assistant Superintendent of public instruction in Texas echoed the board member’s sentiment, wondering what connection ipads and smaller class sizes might have on the “dissemination of academic instruction.” Misapplication of research findings holds true today. Students in Texas may be in for a long, disappointing ride, as their districts attempt to meet student needs while placating the views of politicians whose narrow perspective on education stilt student experiences and derail their futures.

Out of what became a sad mess of public educational reality, developed a menu of educational choices, designed to provide parents who could afford options, alternatives for educating their children. Religious education, secular independent schools and later, the home school movement provided parents more “hands-on” input in their children’s lives. Seeking a way to better educate their children, parents attempted to create private educational opportunities for their children in spite of the taxes they already paid to the public system.

Each of these solutions provided an advantage over public education while at the same time requiring a commitment of time and money. Religious schools provided focus on character development and spiritual affiliation; independent schools with additional accreditation and oversight implemented standard practices for board governance and administrative practices.  Some parents began to  keep their children at home for schooling so they could control the content and environment of instruction.

To evaluate the effectiveness of instructional programs, school districts and state board use standardized tests to establish a uniformly applicable set of criteria. Unfortunately, many of the goals of education (student confidence, character, creativity, flexibility, and resilience, safety, and “belonging” to name a few) do not conform to methods of evaluation that can be applied on a large scale. The standardized tests themselves, therefore, are establishing an extremely narrow band  with which to judge the success of a school’s program.

Charter Schools
What seemed like an ideal solution to the challenge of education in America began appearing across the country in the late 90’s: charter schools. Charter schools seemed to blend the best of both options of private and public education. Charter schools are public schools governed by a board, created by private citizens or business affiliations, and sanctioned and evaluated by a state, county or city school district. Just as there are many kinds of public and private schools, charter schools represent a range of philosophies, environments, and methods of implementation. Some charter schools, like the KIPP family of schools, have strict policies for the enrollment and participation of its students and teachers. Some, like KIPP, have evolved to be the size of  school districts. A key attribute of independent schools, local school autonomy, may or may not be an attribute of a charter school. Many charter school leaders believe that a business model is the “saving grace” of education and should dominate the charter school movement, or that staff who attended ivy league schools create the best pool of talent.

As a movement, charter schools are not yet 20 years old; an adolescent in the field of education. There is much to try, fail, and learn as the movement matures. If nothing else, charter schools represent, at best ,“American ingenuity”, a free market approach to education, and independent thinking. At worst, charter schools run the risk of repeating the errors that plague our current public school system or creating new errors as business-trained non-educators assume leadership roles. A recent report by Stanford University attempts to summarize the success of charter schools. The report points to specific benefits and challenges to the success of charter schools, as seen by test score data.

The problem with evaluating schools by test scores alone is that Ronald and Nathan are left out of the equation. Ronald and Nation are the point of education, as are their parents, and their needs should be front and center, not hidden within pages of state testing data.

Building Community in Education
When one creates a school, one must consider not only how children will learn but how to structure the community in a way that supports parents, honors their fears, and gives them appropriate outlets for their needs to be involved in their child’s education. The Harlem Children’s Zone schools, developed by Geoff Canada, are examples of combining educational reform within a community framework.

Ideally, schools are a reflection of a triangle model, with a joint effort of staff, parents, and students. At the top, educators, whose job it is to stay current and informed, should be the leaders at a school. Parents, who have needed information about their children’s abilities, needs and skills and who have opinions worth hearing, not only contribute this information, but ideally contribute time and money to augment that which is provided by government or tuition. Students, who are the real consumers day to day, form the last third of the triangle. Their voices should be heard in concert with the adults who care for them.  The triangle model requires the participation of all three constituents, each with a particular role. In an ideal setting, there is mutual respect and understanding of the roles of each, as well as a clear understanding of the boundaries among constituents. Mutual respect and understanding requires commitment to processes that cultivate social norms and community expectations, often neglected in the focus on scores and day-to-day school issues.

Charter school developers are bravely experimenting with models. Some models exchange financial support for privilege, creating an opportunity to extend programs. Some charter models hold boldly to the belief in developing the leadership and participation of all community members. Teachers, principals and other staff give mightily of their time, energy, and creativity, often experiencing burnout as they attempt to create the learning environment enjoyed by Hugo–with meager resources.

There are no easy answers, and if we are to move forward we need to accept the current reality:
• Many of our public schools are held hostage by antiquated bureaucracies, and board/union political agendas.
• Some of our public schools are doing a great job despite limitations.
• Student in independent schools are getting an education that makes use of modern research and extended funding, and children who attend them are at an advantage.
• Charter schools are an option for some parents who feel their local schools do not serve their child’s needs.

Wisdom dictates that we consider a wide range of data to discuss and develop our public educational system. As a nation, we do not seem to do well with dissent, despite the examples of the founding fathers. We make quick judgments, discredit partial successes, and fight rather than listen. Our children deserve better. It’s time to bring all voices to the table to hear what is working and to move our schools forward in ways that provide commonly understood “good schools” for all.

What do you think? What are our next steps?  What are your and your child’s experiences?  Let’s start the discussion!

(photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/aoisakana/288099156/)

Too much quiet: When child care and child management go awry…

Quiet.  That is what many adults think of as the outcome of excellent child management.  Echoes of “Children should be seen but not heard” remain, despite reams of research establishing the importance of conversation in learning.  Teachers are evaluated on the noise levels of their classrooms.  Administrators take a quick peak to see if students are “on task”  sometimes neglecting to see what the value of the task might actually be.

My thoughts today are not on classrooms, although the hustle and conversation found in classroom in which children are actively engaged is the goal of my work.

My thoughts today are with parents of young children, upon whose shoulders mighty tasks have been foisted.  Read my blog from yesterday to get a glimpse of the conflicts involved in being a full time, working outside-of-the house mother.  Having spent four years at home with two “under 5’s”  I sympathize with full time, working inside-of-the-house parents as well.  As I watch parents today, their children sitting in traffic, watching TV from the back seat or sitting in restaurants mesmerized by ipads, I wonder, “Would I have bartered an electronic device for a little peace and quiet?”  My conclusion is that quiet is a slippery slope.

In a classroom, quiet as a goal can stifle learning through conversation, cutting off one of the brain’s most effective strategies for learning.  Excellent schools cultivate cultures that foster conversation and collaboration, and skilled teachers recognize the difference between chatting and learning.

Parents face a different situation.  At the end of a long day, or in the race to get out the door, parents are often forced to be focused on cooperation of a large number of variables:  pets, kids, groceries, meals, errands, getting to school/work on time.  Quiet children are an asset to facilitate the tasks of day to day living, no argument.  But at what cost?

Sometimes what is expedient is harmful;  sometimes not.  Children’s brains are programmed to explore and interact with their world.  Every situation, every interaction, provides a child with an opportunity to learn.  Mealtime is socialization time as well as learning time.  I’m sure everyone has heard of the studies of the importance of family mealtime in the cultivation of Rhodes scholars;  I doubt it included ipads or iPhones at the table!

Cognitive and social growth, problem-solving, delayed gratification, boredom, frustration, disappointment…are all connected.  How we foster problem-solving in our children to deal with boredom, frustration, and disappointment teaches our children more than how to sit through a meal.  The tools of learning involved lay the groundwork for the skills they will need for a lifetime.

Some of us have decided to make our homes a “media-free” zone for our grandchildren, succumbing to the overwhelming reality that current parents cannot establish old-fashioned boundaries with media.

But my real hope is that despite our busy lives and the temptations provided by increasingly accessible media, our newest parents can hold the line.  Our media-rich world holds the promise of connecting our globe and each other in ways we cannot even yet imagine; that is a good thing.

But in our interactions with each other we must never lose sight of the importance of humanness, person to person.  Organizations such as “Echo Parenting” and “Common Sense Media” are resources for parents who seek to parent with quality.  We won’t be able to be media free, nor would we want to be; but a least let us be conscious in our decisions to bring media into the daily lives of children.

Photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/60034894@N06/5526380950/.

Empathy: A timely topic.

I find it impossible to maintain both a sour disposition and the full presence of the ocean.  In the same way that our own, small, human experiences disappear in the presence of nature, empathy for another human being is transformative.

Empathy can be painful for us as we view the tragedies that play out in the world. At any given moment, our hearts can be filled with grief, causing us to feel vulnerable and impotent.  However, when armed with full understanding of the power of empathy, we can move out into the world with a commitment to shine our mirror neurons into the light.  Empathy implies “shape-shifting” or finding a way to view the world in a new way.

“We worry about our traditional literacy rates, but we should be more worried, I think, about our emotional literacy, our ability to connect to ourselves and one another. In schools, we teach children to read, but if we don’t teach them to relate to others, they will be lost in life—lost in their relationships, they will not have success in their jobs, and we will not have peace in the world.”  — Mary Gordon, founder of Roots of Empathy, a program that brings babies into the classroom to cultivate empathy in children, http://www.rootsofempathy.org/.

What is empathy?  Research is still filling in the blanks about this mysterious and necessary human trait, but most agree that empathy reflects a person’s ability to feel the emotions or understand the perspective of another.  Some forms of empathy are innate, displaying as soon as we are born!  Newborns reflect the moods of their caregivers or cry in response to the cries of other babies. Newly discovered “mirror neurons” allow us to internalize emotional states of others. Our own  personal growth capacities allow us to be compassionate rather than responding to another person’s emotional state with criticism or our own upset. Our wiring for empathy may be in our DNA. Fraser and Bugnyar found that ravens observing a conflict offered consolation to the victim.

Children raised with empathic parents seem to grow up to be empathic adults. My good friend and professional colleague, Kelly Priest, reminds us that autistic children can benefit from therapies such as Social Thinking, by Michelle Garcia Winner, that cultivate skills in shared perspective taking (http://not-that-special.com/2012/12/25/they-lack-empathy/).  Autistic children, says Priest, possess empathy but may have difficulty expressing it.

Mirror neurons explain the phenomenon of shared moods, paving the way for either raising or lowering the emotions of a work or social situation.  As we become more sensitive to our own moods, more self-reflective of our own inner worlds, often referred to as “resilience,” we acquire skills in shaping the world around us.

Perhaps counter to our own expectations, Lisa Sideris tells us that the most resilient, adaptive individuals are those who have experienced challenges in their lives and identify as “survivors.”  People who acquire the traits of “flexibility, sociability, confidence, and curiosity” as a result of physical and mental trauma, according to Sideris, have the inside track on developing empathy.  Education and exposure to those outside our own cultural identities also expand empathy.

Empathy, when carried into action, allows us to contribute to our families, our work, and our society.  Empathy in action brings us closer to people in our daily lives and allows us to contribute in socially meaningful ways.  As a young dancer, my teacher cautioned:  “Bring in foul energy and you pollute us all;  bring in bright energy and you contribute to everyone’s experience.”  She described the power of empathy in action.  Walk into the business meeting with confidence and “good vibes” and you bring the possibility of a positive outcome.  Find the right word to change a trying family moment; transform tension to humor.

We can even embody empathy for our planet, thus cultivating habits that benefit everyone.  Keep bags in your car to bring to the market;  walk when you can;  turn off the water while brushing your teeth.

Empathy.  I see you, I feel you, I empower your life and mine.  Doesn’t that sound like a good start for a new year?

Slow Living in LA…continued

One of the blessings of living in LA is the access to so much popular diversity. I love working with and having friends of different cultural backgrounds. I feel expanded as I look at life from different vantage points.

I am reading a book, given to me by a dear colleague in education, about the Chabad movement. As I struggle with a commitment to lose 35 pounds to amend a genetically instigated cholesterol reality, I was struck by the author’s description about the food regulations about which she writes. She described the kashrut laws as enabling a person to slow down as they contemplate what they are choosing to eat. The idea resonated so strongly with me as I shift into new life patterns of eating guided by what foods will contribute to my health. Rather than feeling restricted, I feel liberated by giving myself the time and opportunity to consider my choices.

As a young, working mother in Los Angeles, my life was on super-drive. I lived in the San Fernando Valley and found a wonderful job in Santa Monica, so I commuted even though I had a job two blocks from my house. I gave a baby shower for my brother- and sister-in-law, and thought nothing of collecting kewpie dolls in all sizes from Pasadena to Torrance for the decorations (in pre-internet search times!). I was blessed with three amazing kids, and their activities kept me in my car. Perhaps that is a function of youth, to be fast, thorough, and cover lots of turf?

I am doing something that I wanted to do earlier in my life, building a career as a consultant. It’s brave to step out in a new phase, and financially tougher in some ways. But my choices allow me to shape my reality. I choose to cut costs rather than working hard to pay for things I don’t really need. I iron my clothes rather than sending everything to the cleaners. I eat less, eat out less, and clean my own house. I enjoy being home, really home, not just stopping for a short respite from my next activity. I notice that I spend more time connecting with friends, so I don’t feel the need to plan large, expensive parties each year at the holidays to “catch up,” which one can never do en masse anyway.

People ask me how I like LA, and I answer differently than I would have 20 years ago. I love life in LA. I have cut my life down to manageable bites, literally and figuratively. I spend most of my time within a small radius of my home, share a car with my husband so I walk for many of my errands, and keep trips to far corners of the city to a minimum.

Life is simpler, more meaningful, now. Perhaps it is a function of growing older. If so, I embrace it. I have more energy and happiness than I had 20 years ago and I embrace that, too. I have time and space to ask myself: What do you want?

I am answering that question day by day, moment by moment.

Does school choice matter? Research says…NO.

Parents are  hungry for ways to give their children “edge” in the world of education, and with high hopes, the workforce.  As an educational consultant I advise parents about schools in Los Angeles, helping them to find the best match between their needs and the profile of their child.  Eager to leave no stone unturned in the search for the “perfect school,”  parents spend money on consultants, admission test preparation , tutoring, and eventually, most likely, private school tuition.  New research shared in Johns Hopkins University Department of Education’s Center for Research and Reform in Education newsletter, Best Evidence in Brief, indicates that more important than school profile in assuring student achievement is what the authors call “family capital.”

Best Evidence in Brief describes the research presented in Research in Social Stratification and Mobility describing the quality of interactions and values in the home which seem to be better indicators of high levels of student success than attributes of the school the child attends.  The skills that contribute to student academic achievement come from the home, say the researchers in the study, not the school.

What does this research mean for parents?  Does that mean that the kind of school your child attends does not matter? The good news, says the study, is that any family in any school can give a child a good foundation for academic achievement if the values and behaviors are supportive and nurturing.

However,  from my perspective, schools still matter.  Ideally, the relationship between a school and the families who comprise the school community is a mutually supportiv relationship.  Hopefully, the school is a repository of resources, both tangible and intangible, that assist parents in being and doing the best they can for their child.  Hopefully, there is quality communication between home and school, providing parents with the kinds of information that allow them to be actively involved in the rights kinds of ways, with their child’s education.  Good schools provide opportunites for parent education and for parents to interact with one another, develping supportive relationships with other parents that increase their skills as parents.

The study mentions that parents who talk to their children effectively, take an interest in their children’s schoolwork, and who create effective means of communication in the home lay the foundation for their children’s learning.  It’s highly possible for parents to develop effective family cultures on their own or with the help of friends, family, or other sources;  but a good school can be a huge support in helping parents develop effective family environments.

Ironically, many parents look to find a school with a good reputation of high levels of academic achievement or status, assuming that somehow the attributes of the school will inculcate their child against school failure or ensure copious amounts of school success.  What the study tells us is that unless the school’s academic success is as a result of its support of families, helping them to develop high quality environments for raising children, the reputation of a school is no insurance for student achievement.

Student achievement, like everything else in life, it seems, is an “inside job,”  in this case, predicted by qualities of life inside a family.

 

The school year has just started…time to look to next year?

If you or someone you know has children in the Los Angeles area, you know what a crazy scene the “where should my kid go to school?” is.  People around the nation generally consider the quality of public schools when they buy a home, and some parents are fortunate to be able to find public schools that match their family’s needs, knowing as our parents did, that their child will walk to school and matriculate from one public school to another.

In the Los Angeles area, we have a range of public school options:  magnet schools, charter schools, and a myriad of school districts of differing sizes and compositions.  If, as many are finding, their neighborhood school does NOT meet their family’s needs, they become entangled in the web of “finding a school for my child.”  In fact, many parents begin the school crazies when their child is a toddler, as they look for a preschool.  Montessori, Reggio, parent cooperative?  How in the world does anyone find the time to consider all the options, make all the applications, and make any choice, much less a GREAT choice for their child?

And what is a great choice for YOUR child?  How do you know what environment will best serve your child and your family?  What if your funds are limited but the choices you gravitate to are expensive?  What thoughts go through your head as you consider the options and the responsibility for carving a path for your child’s future?

If you are not an educator, or if you do not have experience with public and private options, the task of finding a school can be daunting.  Those of us who have navigated the waters as public, private, magnet, religious, and independent school parents and staff have much to offer parents as they dip their toe in the raging stream running between school years and decisions.

The good news and perhaps life’s great secret (or Los Angeles’s!) is that choosing a school is but one aspect of parenting.  Yes, there are better choices than others, and experts can be of great healp,  but in the end your child is most influenced by you, your home, your values, your loving guidance.  Of course, it’s a little more complicated than that, and peers do matter, but after raising three grownups I’m here to say that when they attended wonderful schools their lives were enriched and when they didn’t…their lives were enriched as well.

Parenting is tough.  It’s the toughest job on the planet and there is no training required.  We just take the plunge!  Those of us who consult for a living seek to make the trip a little easier for those of you out there, but remember: every day on the planet is a life class.  In the end, we are all still in school, one decision at a time.

Grow Where You Are Planted!

Ever wonder what life would be like in another city or country?  I know I do.  My imagination takes me to many corners of the world, while my pocketbook has me tethered to Los Angeles most of the time.

Most of my life revolved around my children, and the decisions I made centered on them.  I picked a husband I knew would be a wonderful father, and was delighted to find that he was also the love of my life.  My career path centered around schools and education, and  I found much to be grateful for each day in a life that gave me time to mother my children.  Despite our financial realities, both teachers, my husband and I created space in our finances to enroll our children in wonderful private schools, knowing that they would benefit from a higher quality of education than our public schools offered.  I rejoice in my decisions, despite the debt we incurred.

Thus, as many of my friends venture around the globe, I mostly remain home.  My parents brought our family from the East coast to the Pacific Ocean, Southern California.  As I find more time in my life now that our three children are on their own, my adventures are local.  My latest discovery is rowing, exercise, adventure, and meditation.

(Please forgive the boat metaphors!).  Each time I cross over from the dock to the wobbly vessel, I confront my fear of making a fool of myself by falling.  Then, once in the craft, I reconnect with my own confidence.  Once needing the security of my husband as a partner in a tandem boat,  I realize I crave the agility of my own steerage.  Adjusting to the rhythm of my stroke and despite the helpful reminders that I have not yet mastered the correct form, I am ocean bound, of my own energies!  Someone is always ahead of me, and instead of viewing an opportunity for comparison and competition, I rather see the marker as a future goal, confident that I will get there.  It is not a race;  my purpose is to find peace, appreciation of the rising sun, the seals who chase me, and the feel of the current, stepping into the photo I so often viewed as I walked along the channel.

Although I invite the Universe to bless me with wealth and opportunities to see more of this glorious world, I am content to find the majesty in the  experiences of my own small world.